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What divorcing parents should promise each other

As we noted in our prior post, there are many who have misconstrued notions about why people divorce and what happens to them emotionally. But for those divorcees who are parents, they should be aware that there are many things that can affect their children in the same way.  Because of this, parents embroiled in custody or support disputes should make the following promises to each other.

Don’t freeze the other parent outIt is natural to become angry at a parent when they don’t contribute (either through monetary contributions or with parenting time breaks), and resolve to move on with life without them. However, parents should resist the urge to deny parenting time or keep the other parent in the dark when it comes to events in the child’s life.

Don’t fight in front of the childThe other parent may make your blood boil by being petty and disrespectful, but you must avoid verbal (and physical) confrontations in front of the child. Arguments should be had in private and kept in that venue.

Celebrate the child’s funYou may also get jealous when your child describes how much fun he or she had with the other parent. The focus should be on how they had fun, not on how the other parent is attempting to upstage you. The same notion applies if the child wants to spend more time with the other parent.

Don’t treat kids like old luggageAvoid making children feel like they are merely accessories that you can dispose of at a whim. Nothing is worse to a child than being resented or not feeling loved.