San Jose parents who are ending their marriage might be concerned about how their children will handle the change. Creating a stable environment and making sure that children do not witness conflict between their parents is important. Parents can begin by talking to their children about the divorce together. Any questions they have should be answered, and parents should reassure them that they are not the reason for the divorce.
It may be necessary to encourage children to discuss their feelings about the divorce. Children may be grieving, and they may work out that grief in different ways. If necessary, parents should turn to outside help. A therapist might be able to help a child who is struggling to process a divorce.
Parents should avoid the temptation to have children carry messages back and forth, and they should not manipulate one another using the children. They should also avoid speaking negatively about one another. It is important to be flexible. Appointments may be missed, and it is better to avoid frustration about this and similar issues in favor of avoiding conflict. Finally, just as taking care of children is important, it is also important for parents to take care of themselves. Parents cannot help children if their own needs are going unmet.
There are a number of reasons that parents may want to try to cooperate with one another. If a custody case goes to court, a judge may look unfavorably on a parent’s inability to work with the other parent. If a parent has a genuine reason for being concerned about the other parent’s fitness, such as a history of domestic abuse, the parent may want to bring that up in court. However, a judge will generally not consider a parent unfit because the other parent disapproves of that parent’s lifestyle or beliefs.