The emotional aspects of going through a divorce are not easy. When you have children, the process can be even more complicated because you’re trying to balance the emotional needs of your children with that of your own.
Extensive psychological research shows that children of divorced parents adjust well to post-divorce life in approximately two years — in the case of an average breakup. In fact, children have more life-challenges when parents stay in conflictive marriages rather than breaking apart.
Suggestions that will help your children during divorce
There are several things that divorcing San Jose parents can do to make the divorce process easier on their children:
— Shield your kids from the conflict: There’s no reason your kids should have to see you and your soon-to-be-ex in a loud or angry argument. If you have ongoing parental conflict, it could cause ongoing social problems and psychological problems for your children.
— Approach your children as a united front: When you have decided to divorce, be sure to present the idea to your children. This helps you and the other parent stay on equal footing, and it models unity, working together and agreement as opposed to discord or disharmony.
— Give your children advanced warning: Predictability is essential to help children feel safe. Surprise life changes are not easy on them, so if you are planning to move to a new home with them, or if the other parent is planning to move out, try to give your children several weeks notice before a major life change occurs.
— Keep your kids in touch with the other parent: You might not want to be in contact with your ex, but in the case of your children, the situation is much different. Children who have a good relationship with both of their parents grow up better adjusted, and they have an easier time adjusting to post-divorce life.
A family law attorney can help
Having an experienced family law attorney represent you in your divorce can assist you in maintaining good relations with your spouse. It will also help you complete your divorce more peacefully and with less conflict. This will, in turn, make the entire process easier on your children.